Thoughts from the Thinking

Have you ever had one of those funks where you suddenly hit a wall and you don’t know why? I am talking about one of those times when on one day you are happy, you are excited about the direction that your life is heading but then the next day you are suddenly down and out. You can’t explain why you are down and out but you just are. You haven’t lost…you just didn’t win yet. There is nothing wrong with your life…something just  doesn’t feel right.

Maybe it is from an impatience with things that have been delayed. Maybe it is from an ignorance..you don’t know what is really going on so you always assume the worst. There is a kind of emptiness that hasn’t been filled in too long. Maybe you miss someone; maybe you miss doing the things you used to do; maybe you suddenly realize that you only have a short amount of time left in a place you have called home.

It isn’t that you lost…it is that you need a win because you feel like you have lost. But is the absence of a win really a loss? Are ties losses? Well, they aren’t wins, I know that. But it isn’t even that, the game isn’t over…sometimes you feel like you got a pair of jacks with an ace in the whole but there are 2 more cards left to flip and the dealer isn’t calling yet.

Maybe this is all nonsensical venting…but it is what it is. I need a win because I feel like a loser.