Thoughts from the Thinking

If you are like me (which I hope you aren’t) you have been reading the news and couldn’t help but read the stories about the “elusive” g-spot that when stimulated induces an orgasm…and the debate over whether it exists or not. This recent European study and many like it have stirred up a storm lately and I have no doubt that many chauvinistic men are gloating while liberal feminists are fuming. It is cited that something like only 30% of the time women actually climax during intercourse (which ends when the man climaxes, of course) and since people are bothered by that there has to be a secret to better sex or a person who “fits” you perfectly. But the question I am forced to raise here is this:

How many people in these surveys have had one sexual partner? Did they bother asking people who have been happily married for 20+ years about their sex life?

I’m not about to conduct my own survey (mostly because I don’t need that mental image) but I think this is a valid question and one that must be explored.

I should start with more poignant questions:

What is the ultimate goal of a relationship? Is sexual satisfaction the real goal of having relationships? Is sex just about the physical stimulation or is there something more?

If the ultimate goal of a relationship is simply sexual satisfaction, why bother with relationships at all? There are plenty of other ways to be satisfied sexually and you can do it yourself or with the help of various appliances available for purchase. We know this so there has to be another reason for seeking human companionship that results in sex other than some twisted masochism that allows us to put ourselves through all sorts of emotional pains just to have something we can give ourselves without too much trouble. There has to be something else and I feel that tabloids and scientists looking for the best ways to pleasure your sexual partner are hindering our ability to see that. Those “50 Ways to the Ultimate Orgasm” and this search for the g-spot (or lack thereof) is the problem, not the solution to the relationship problems in the world. Put bluntly: we are looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place.

What if sex was more than the release of bodily fluids and physical stimulation? What if sex was something more than fun (or frustrating)? What if we viewed and talked about sex as something more?

I’m not here to answer the big questions, I’m just here to ask them because surely I don’t know nothing.